How I plan to win as a husband and dad on Valentine’s Day
How I plan to win as a husband and dad on Valentine’s Day
“Time, is on my side, yes it is.”
If only I could believe the Rolling Stones when they sang this.
Unfortunately, lately I’ve found that the things that used to be easy are more difficult. I blame time (or my lack of it).
I have a hunch some of you may be able to relate.
Case and point: Valentine’s Day.
When I was a newlywed, V-day was easy to dedicate thought and energy toward. Availability, freedom from distraction, and the power of young love were all in my favor. Now, as a seasoned married man and a parent, the holiday has quickly turned into something to check off my list of tasks instead of an opportunity to show my beautiful wife and my son how much I truly love and appreciate them.
It’s become an occasion to survive instead of celebrate.
I had no desire for this unexpected transformation to happen--it just has. Pressure from work demands, passiveness, and chasing a very active 18-month-old (literally until he falls asleep) doesn’t leave much left to think about Valentine’s Day.
Whether you’re a husband or wife, mom or dad, I’d bet you’ve noticed something similar in your own world.
So… what can be done? How can we reinvigorate some of the spirit of February 14th that’s been sucked away by time consuming, everyday demands?
Here's how I plan to win as a husband and dad on Valentine’s Day
Focus on a good quality conversation with the one I love
Genuine opportunities to connect with my wife through meaningful dialogue are at a premium and, sadly, something I don’t take advantage of nearly enough. Valentine’s Day is a perfect opportunity to change this pattern.
Whether it’s a coffee date, dinner in, dinner out, or even a long stroll, I want to take time to talk. And not about the typical “How was your day’” or “What’s tomorrow looking like?” I aspire to dig deeper.
Need some help sparking the conversation? Check out the Gabbit Couples App. It’s full of creative conversation starting questions. Some even have a romantic tilt, which is perfect for V-Day.
Nothing can renew vigor in a tired relationship like authentic connection via conversation.
Be intentional with showing my kids what Valentine’s Day means
While admittedly a little forced, Feb. 14th is a prime opportunity to show your kids what true love looks like in the context of a romantic relationship. They see the way you treat your spouse on a day like Valentine’s Day and they’ll remember it. Demonstrate that the day isn’t about overpriced flowers, tacky cards, and teddy bears.
For sons, they’ll see the way husbands treat their wives and they’ll use it as a road map for how to treat future women in their life. Likewise, this is an opportunity to display the type of standards your daughters should expect when they start looking for men in the future.
Plan Ahead
I don’t think men mean to wait until the last minute, but somehow it happens. (I’m as guilty as anyone and am guessing that my wife will read this and agree.)
Take the initiative sooner than February 13th to book a baby sitter (if needed), place reservations at a restaurant, and plan a date. Spacing your to-do list over a week instead of trying to cram it into an hour will make preparation much easier.
When you’re writing a note or card to your spouse, think about it a little bit. Write it ahead of time so you’re not forced to write something in the last moment. Romantic, meaningful thoughts on the fly don’t always come out as poetic as you may hope.
Finally, know my loved one is worth it
In the midst of all the busyness and pressure you face, it’s easy to do the bare minimum to get by on Valentine’s Day. In those moments, remember your husband or wife is worth the effort. They’re worth leaving work early even if it puts more on your plate down the road. They’re worth buying a special gift for, even if the budget is tight. Worth writing a poem or note for, even if that’s not your thing.
I promise you, it’s worth it.
--by Adam Bohlmeyer
