Jesus was calling shotgun in my life long before I actually heard him, and then even longer still before I actually let him in the seat.

Now, I know what you might be thinking—Jesus should be in the driver’s seat, not the passenger one. But give me a moment to explain.

There was a point in my marriage where I was a complete wreck and I couldn’t see the forest through the trees. It felt impossible, and giving up seemed like the easiest thing to do. This is where Jesus stepped in. (The song “Jesus Take the Wheel” seemed appropriate for this time in my life.)

Like many, I spend the most time with God when things get rough. As sad as that might be, it’s true. When life is just trucking along, I can sometimes forget to talk to God. But when life is serving me up a heaping helping of hard stuff, I’m on my knees (figuratively speaking) more than not. And this is where I was: begging and pleading with God to give me answers.

I was on the biggest emotional roller coaster of my life; I rode up and down between thinking, “I’m done. I’m leaving. I’ve had it,” to “But I know that’s not what God wants…right?” So I turned to faithful people for advice. I looked up Bible verses on divorce. I cried. I got angry. And I spent A LOT of time talking to Jesus.

What did he tell me?

Jesus’ answer I remember well. And I remember exactly where I was. I was in my car driving, going up a hill on my way home from work, praying and feeling desperate. Suddenly, this is what he said:

“I’ve got this. Trust me.”

Throughout the following days and weeks he told me this message over and over again: in my Facebook feed, in email newsletters, through friends and family. He was telling me loud and clear to let my worry and fear go, and to submit to him. And so I did.

This is why Jesus now rides in my passenger seat. Ever since that day, I talk to him when I drive. It’s my time to get real with him--to tell him my laments, to thank him for the beautiful mountains and nature around me. Sometimes I tell him I’m mad at him, and to ask him “why?” when I don’t understand. Sometimes I thank him for the wonderful blessings he’s given me, or to pray for people I love, and those that I don’t know.

And I imagine Jesus sitting right next to me in the passenger seat. He’s looking at me, listening intently, nodding his head, and telling me “I’ve got this. Trust me.” And I do. I don’t always remember that he’s sitting there, but he is. Ready to listen.