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God Chose You as Your Child's Parent for a Reason

God Chose You (1)

I can remember the birth of my first son, Dylan, like it was yesterday: the way he looked and smelled, how he felt in my arms, and how unprepared I felt. I’d carried this baby for 38 weeks and in that time I'd read a dozen books on parenting, looked up blogs, watched documentaries, and had a few good ideas...but definitely more questions than answers. It seemed like each expert opinion contradicted the previous one. Each author seemed so sure that their way was the best way. I was overwhelmed and confused to say the least, and as I held Dylan for the first time, I wondered what sort of parent I would be.

Then, as though she knew what I was faced with, a good friend of mine stopped by the hospital with a gift--a list of mothers from the Bible and what each one was famous for. There was Mary, Sarah, Ruth, and many others. Beside their names were a few sentences about them, and as I looked it over something struck me: they were all so different. Their backgrounds, values, struggles and hangups were entirely their own.

God doesn't call all mothers to be the same.

That slip of paper lit a fire in me. For weeks I studied the women on the list. I read their stories and talked with others people about my findings. Eventually I came to the conclusion that God doesn’t call mothers to be the same. There isn’t a one-size-fits-all type of mom in the Bible. But there is a common thread, one thing that does show up in the lives of all of the mothers: God chose them to be the mother of their children and they responded to God with a “yes.” Each of them offered something different to their children--something only they could offer--and it was according to God’s purpose.

When this realization hit me, I sat up, stared down at the page I was reading, and knew in my heart that God had chosen me to be my son’s mother for a reason.

Just like the women of the Bible, I had something unique to offer my son.

I had something that he would need that no other mother could give him. I thought about my own life experiences--the things that set me apart from others--and I made my own list:

  • I grew up in a family of missionaries
  • I love art and writing
  • I follow Jesus
  • I come from a tight-knit family
  • I love apologetics

You get the point.

These are all things that make me me. They're things that God saw in me before he gave me my children. After I made my list, I added a comment next to each item about how that quality would impact me as a parent and how I could use it to honor and say yes to God. I still have the list, and I still have a few of the books I read, but when I read them now it's simply to find helpful tips--not to become anything other than who I am.

When I think back on how much time I spent worrying, it seems silly to me now. I thought that to be a good mother I needed to become like someone else. Studying the mothers of the Bible showed me that it’s okay to be different; in fact, it’s a good thing, and it’s how we honor our call from God. No book on parenting can give your children what you can. God chose you to be the parent of your child because no one can pour into them, help them, and love them like you can.

Your turn: Write down the things that set you apart, and ask yourself how God can use these things in your parenting. He chose you for a reason--no one can do it like you can.

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Showing 19 comments
  • Felicia

    Thank you for this post. i really enjoy reading this and you are so true… we cant all be alike and that is ok cos i know am choosen on purpose to be the mother of two beautiful girls n two handsome boys.
    sometime i struggel with myself if am enough n doing my best to be the mother i want to be.
    but the true is i am the mother i was called to be and i should be happy about it.
    thank God am not alone in it….. God bless you…

  • Sherin anna James

    My parents like a respectful and kindness and also have positive encouraging love and care they are always keep in touch with God in our life too they are always care about me and my families.

    • Misty Bonnette

      My comment is. I think my family disowned me as a child they new I were going to have problems bc some male touched me or been with me so I was no longer a virgin or wanted. I’ve had issues since. I’ve been disregarded by my own family.its like my family is looking through me but none wanted to save me or take me in and guide me appropriately. Soon I became part of the streets. The more I would tried to hide from bad, it always found me. The more sexual abuse came in my life. I had no idea what I was going through. It was like the bad stuff came through my family down to me. They straightened there lives up and casted me further out. I knew nothing of my own thoughts,while trusting mthem they were priming me up for game. What uncle’s bullies nieces or talks about their boobs,to me that’s unhealthy. Or why weren’t they supervising us kids better. It’s like they knew nothing about talking,actual talking to children. Now while I’m just trying to find a safe haven, rest places , my family got these big homes and not even a floor is offered. They have allowed innocents to slip by while they look filthy rich. Now that hungry men did all to me and made a child , they taught me that I would never be loved appropriately. I get screamed at, hit on, have to walk around trying to figure out things and my children are wondering why a mother never gets to be involved. No one has offered out of there way a job, a safe place, loving memories. I never wanted to be lead down my road I had to. I waited for calls from my family and nothing. It’s always laughing at the death of a family member or sorry but who would go years not checking on a child or family member. I never wanted to go through life with someone pushing pills into me so man could violate my body to create children so they could be taken away. All my life older people have been hurting me. Then they will play like I hurt them. There’s nothing more to my life inside of wanting to feel the abundance of a clean life, while keeping me out in the streets let’s them more comfortable knowing they have a big house but like noah’s ark I’m not or haven’t been able to aboardship. I’ve never seen family member really want me around growing up, they all wanted someone to make the mistakes so they could be better parents to their own children. I’ve been turned around and pulled so many directions, just to try to stay close to my kids because no one wanted me, but who would of thought family was saying I’m the bad so keep her away. I never wanted harm to come to me,at all but it did ,many times. Why couldn’t they love me as there own, why did they neglect me or allow abuse to me. I was needing someone in my life as well, instead I were thrown out or hated bc I was born from certain people. I never even got to be close to my parents. Why did someone take that away . All these resources never worked well enough to bring anything together, it’s more ripping families apart then anything. It’s like we’re children being hated that we were born. There’s no greater agony then that. I tried holding on to a roof over my head were I’m steadily used for anything and everything,while there riches increase and I carry the burden of not having much inside to me or having period. I live with 2 men I know that don’t believe in jesus. I have a hard time believing in anything but pain that man sends me through his voice . I had a hard enough time my brother trying to kill me as a child to myself being casted out by families. Trying to gather up one’s own babies would need miracle after miracle because man has torn it apart.

      • Sam

        God loves you and wants an abundant, fruitful life for you.
        Romans 3:23
        Romans 6:23
        Romans 5:8
        Romans 10:9-10
        Romans 10:13

        • Yulya Sevelova

          I wanted to tell you about the Sheepfold Shelter,a Christian shelter for women and children ONLY- no men are allowed to stay there. The website is,and it’s in Southern California,the city is Orange,CA. I hope this helps. And also,after such severe abuse, you do need trauma therapy for PTSD. More later. It’s actually pretty common for people to hate children before they’re born,once they find out that they’re pregnant,and it’s an accident. Never blame yourself ! Kids don’t ask to be born. As for those men who abused you,they are criminals. Related or not.

      • Jblack

        You are NOT garbage or unwanted, I sure hate it for you, I know your pain….I believe I do….if not I’m sorry for believing that….I can “feel” your pain though…that I can say I really do and I hate it for you. Every word you wrote, I “KNOW” them all….each word has their own story….one day….remember this, one day you will look back on all the hard times you have endured and it will “click” you will see why you were dealt a hand few can say they know….and you will be greatful for the person it has made you and you will be proud of that….and I’ll bet you’d never admit, but I’ll bet there are qualities you know you have, maybe invisible to the world, but qualities you know you have and you’d not trade them for all the World’s gold. You are NOT garbage or unwanted, someone will see you and will know and truly see your worth as a human…where you are “invisible” to the rest of the world. To anyone who matters, they will see and you will see in their eyes the truth they see.

    • Nessa

      I love your article! I lost my mother at 19 and now I’m a mom and been doing this mom thing for 3 years now! God knew I needed my daughter she helped me grow and blossom into the woman i am now. Becoming a mom also has drawn me closer to my mother even after she passed away we were always close but I didn’t get a chance to gaze at her from the eyes of an adult and ask her questions. I’m so thankful for being a mom like it truly saved my life because before then I felt lost and felt like I didn’t have a purpose

  • Lori stewart

    Can you please put verses from bible that coincide with article? I was also told,rhat by a minister but didn’t keep good notes. Thank you and thanks for you insight.

    • Dodie Ardoin

      I would like to see also

    • Amberly

      Rich, I’m saddened you feel this way,
      the things that happened in your life was not a punishment, God loves you more then you know, non of us live this life without suffering, and through that suffering we find our strength in him and only him, God is the only one that can ease pain and suffering, God gave his only begotten son to pay the ultimate price for our sin, so we can join him in heaven. You are his child, he knew you before you even had a name, and loves you unconditionally, everything happens for a reason, and sometimes we don’t know why but we have to trust in the Lord because he is the way and the truth, ask God your questions wholeheartedly and believe that he hears you and God will answer and show you in many different ways, the first step is to ask Jesus into your heart accept him as your lord and savior believe that he died on the cross for you, trust in God and give all your fears worries to him, nothing can separate God’s love from you, I pray you seek God and allow him to show you his works blessed are those who believe in him let him bless heal you in every way. You have a purpose, you are not a punishment or mistake and you are worth more then this world gave you and the people of this world gave you, God keeps his promises and he promises ask and shall receive and believe it to be received. Thank you Lord our Father in Heaven for every day you grant us thank you for always keeping your promises and always giving us what we need over what we want I Praise your Holy name Amen.

  • Heather

    Curious to know what the name of the book was your friend gave you after the birth. It sounds like a lovely book to give to new moms at our church. ❤️

  • Mary Bel

    I am a mother a special needs to little girl, Elise. I know a drug addict could not fill the needs of a special challenge child. I know I am chosen to be the best advocate for her. God chose me. It’s true calling I am now reading this, on her birthday.

  • rich

    I guess GOD wanted me to have a bad life, growing up in a bad family was not a choice and my father left then died when I was a young kid.I had a mother who tried to protect and give shelter but not show affection growing up without love has had my brother commit suicide and I’m not far from the same… GOD is a cruel for some people

    • jsumouske

      Hello Rich,

      We understand that God can work in ways that don’t seem to make much sense in the grand scheme of things. You are NOT alone in that feeling or in the observation that bad things seem to happen for no reason. We are praying for you and reaching out to let you know that we believe God does love you. Have a wonderful rest of your day, blessings.

    • D. Brown

      Hello Rich, I just read your statement which lit a light in me. I came from a good family that did things to cause so much unnecessary drama. I always felt like the odd one, almost like I didn’t belong to that family, but I knew God put me there for a reason. We believed in God and were Catholic. We would go to Church on Holidays and say prayers when we needed God, but I had no idea that we can’t live our lives without God. So, I made bad choices, wrong relationships, etc. I got to the point that I just wanted to give up. My friend took me to Church and at the end of the service, Pastor was calling people that needed prayers to the altar, I went and fell on the altar and let out the biggest cry of my life to God and asked Him to help me and I was so sorry for all the things I’ve done in my life. People were Praying on me for fifteen min. or so and I stood up still crying with those around me still praying and a gust of wind came from my left side and literally blew me off my feet in front of everyone and I fell back, but they caught me. I got so scared, I stopped crying immediately and asked them; “What was that?” They said; “OH MY GOSH, It is Jesus!” I know what I felt!! I walked out that Church stunned!! I started reading the Bible and became so fixated on it, that’s all I was doing and a year later I signed up at Liberty University’s Willmington’s School of the Bible. I am studying Biblical Studies, Theology and Christian Counseling. I brought myself down by the things I saw growing up, then by what I did and the things I said and how I was acting. A pure lack of knowledge in God’s Word. We can’t live w/out God because He created us to be here on earth for a reason and we are to worship Him. When we do this, He will change your life and blow your mind!! God will use what you and your family have been through as a Testamony to help so many other people going through what you have. Sometimes our own sins create our own destructions. So, reach out to God, Go to Church, Read your Bible, tell God you take Him as your Lord and Savior and that He sent His only Son, Jesus, to die for the forgiveness of our sins, three days later, He rose and His Spirit is alive in Heaven. He lives in our Spirits and when we sin, we hurt Him. Honor who God made you be, love yourself because your body is God’s Temple! Don’t let satan fill your head with negative, draining drama. If it’s not Peace and Love, it’s not God. Reach out to God today and let Him change your life. God loves you, you are His son, but we must live by His Word, have complete Faith and Trust in Him and watch your whole life change. God Bless You.

  • Sona emi

    Feeling frustrated why my son can’t communicate with me yet. He is almost 3 I keep asking my self why me why him I am doing everything I can to help him and it seems it’s not enough 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I just hope and believe in God for a miracle

  • V. Turner

    I’m a child of mine my mother had. Not the oldest or the youngest. My mother always talked about her friends children having kids at a young age. Yet even told that it will happen to me. As if it was a burden. I’m the only one out of my siblings that had children even though my family said I embarrassed them, but I was 21 years old and living out of the home. Then having my first child, and pre term labor my mother said not to have the doctors save my baby or give to adoption. My daughter passed away two weeks after I was married to her father. Yet a year and two weeks later I had another daughter. She was born a day before my my mother. That was when things turned ugly. I was told and ridiculed as if I wasn’t a her mother because of zodiac sign. What does that have to do with being a parent? I was so confused and ruined by my mother and siblings actions that she was taken from me to live with my sister. Then I was not her mother. I did everything for my child. Then after my family spoke so many lies to !y daughter changed her to such an evil person. And living with my sister and being told by my daughter and I quote ” Mom there is no structure here”, just because I do not do the raising as everyone else suggest, all assumed that I was neglectful. And I never was. My daughter is smart intelligent but she is a snake. She was on the strictest schedule. But since she did not like and told my family this with a lie they believed she should live with my sister. Whom gave her all things. Which not working for it was okay. Three hundred dollars a week for a 15 year old is not good. Letting her stay out all night, and wearing erotic clothing and with boys is what she was allowed to do. But when I tell them that’s not to do .. but when she took my sister’s brand new car and totaled it, then everyone in my family blamed me and kicked her out.
    Years later my daughter has done harm to me. And praying that she get to know God. One thing I can’t understand that why must I still be responsible and blamed for it?

  • Quintessa

    I truly believe God has chosen me and my husband to parent our two boys whom are my best friends grandkids and their biological mom has disowned they are now 6and 8 yrs old it’s almost 2yrs coming we’ve had so much issues with the boys, behavior after behavior, all types of things that I myself can relate to when I was a child at times I want to give up and let them go but God keeps reminding me of his same love he shared with me I guess if anyone out there have some encouraging words and scriptures that would be great thanks in advance and God bless you

  • Original Anna

    My goodness, where are the social agencies, the doctors, the teachers, etc. in these kids lives that the abuse these adults had as kids was not recognized and reported so the kids could be removed from their parents homes and put into decent homes. Most kids coming out of social services do go on to build their lives. We had five, two who gave more trouble then we thought were worth it at the time but all five are full grown with families of their own. We made sure they had a good Church to support and understand where they came from and GOD in their lives so as adults they would hopefully go to help for in troubled times. As for these kids, stop living in the past, you do have a future, you are not dead yet. As long as you are alive you can stop letting your “family” live your life, leave them behind in your heart and mind and take one step forward doing something right like seeing a beautiful day. Then take another step forward and see what you can do for your self like eat an ice cream cone or read a book, something. Kick your family outside your brain and heart and meet and bring those good people who do exist into your life and brain and heart, one step at a time while praying to and be with GOD! It’s hard and there are church places and gov’t programs that can help adults with their past. Find them and use them to help you get your family out of your brain, heart and life and how to build your life so you can have your own family with the bad experiences you had so you can do well with your family. You ended up with those experiences for a reason, learn to use them to know how to help others.

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