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Successful Relating Fulfillment through Connection and Community Alice G. Vlietstra, Ph.D. Editor February 2007
In this issue:
1. Welcome
This e-newsletter focuses on this shift in mindset. In the process, we will discover a common myth in reference to the law of attraction. Many people believe that by attending to the positive alone, good fortune will follow. You will discover that we also need to look at our blueprints, the roots of our motivation. As long as our desires come from a negative root, like attracts like, and our good intentions will not bring the happiness that we desire.
2. Getting to Enough This has been clearly shown in epidemiological research. In almost all Western countries, once basic needs are met, continued affluence does not lead to happiness. Instead, it has lead to epidemic levels of depression. Martin Seligman argues that this results from two trends: (1) An increase in consumerism, individualism, and emphasis on personal satisfaction, and (2) a slide away from individual investment in endeavors larger than oneself: God, Nation, Community, Family, and Duty. What motivates this continuous drive for more? Many times it is motivated by feelings of inadequacy, scarcity, and lack. When this happens, individuals often measure themselves by an invisible yardstick that is external to themselves. If more is better, then what I have is not enough, but the "more" that is supposed to make things better still is not enough. As long as we are measuring ourselves by what others have or think, we will never have enough. The problem is that this motivation comes from a negative root, and "like attracts like," resulting in continued strife.
3. An Internal Yardstick
Beyond the point of enough, the secret to a fulfilling life comes by exercising the capacity to give. When you feel that you have a purpose for your life, your energies are focused on fulfilling that purpose, whether it is loving your family, contributing to the community, or working for peace. Then you are no longer defining your worth by what you get, and you can leave behind the futile rat race of never having enough. One huge contribution of Positive Psychology has been the identification of virtues and strengths common to all cultures. These strengths are also uniquely present in each individual. They give us clues to our life purpose and our unique values that uplift ourselves and others. Instead of striving for more, they help us to focus on a sense of purpose that fits within the community and the needs of the world. Then we can we can begin to align our earning and spending with our values and sense of purpose, set our own limits, and maintain a sense of balance within ourselves and with our neighbors. We can make more meaningful connections to bring a deeper happiness and fulfillment in our lives.
4. Finding Your Focus
Nothing is worse than not having a clear direction. Clarity is critical for success. It provides the power to do. Without a clear direction, you are either paralyzed or running around in circles. Even worse, you can never reach your full potential because you dare not fully commit. The problem is, that not every direction will do. Each of us is unique and has something special to offer to the world. To be truly happy, we must use our "uniqueness" to add value to the lives of others. This is important in order to be financially successful, and to have relationships that give us meaning. I will be offering two workshops in March to help you to identify the deeper purpose and direction to your life. The first is "Life's Deeper Purpose." In this workshop, we will help you to (1) re-ignite your passion for life, (2) identify your strengths so as to clarify your life mission and purpose (3) learn how your life purpose helps you to make more meaningful connections with others, (4) raise your prosperity consciousness by releasing collective blueprints of scarcity and fear. The second workshop is "Mind Your Money." It will help you to define and apply your internal focus to decisions about your finances. You will be come aware of the consciousness of money traps, as well as the consciousness of prosperity and success. In this way, your financial decisions will bring more meaning and fulfillment. Warm Regards, Dr. Alice Reference: Seligman, M. "What you can change and what you can’t." New York: Ballantine books, 1993.
5. Announcements
March 17 -18: Life's Deeper Purpose: Finding Your Focus in Times of Transition and Change. This workshop will help you clarify your life direction. At 12131 Dorsett Road, Ste. 101. A flyer is attached. Beginning March 26, Five Mondays. Mind Your Money. This is an in-depth workshop designed to help you relate your values and internal sense of purpose to your finances. At 12131 Dorsett Road, Ste. 220. See the attached flyer. Copyright 2006 Alice Vlietstra. All rights reserved. You have my permission to forward this newsletter to those who might be interested. To subscribe: E-mail alice@successfulrelating.com and put subscribe in the subject line. To unsubscribe: e-mail alice@successfulrelating.com and put unsubscribe in the subject line. About Dr. Alice Alice Vlietstra, Ph.D., formerly of the University of Missouri St. Louis, was first trained as a researcher in Human Development. This training provides the integrative developmental focus of her work. Currently, she works as a family psychologist, coach, and family business consultant. As a graduate of the Authentic Happiness coaching program, she is trained in promoting the positive. As a certified practitioner of mind-body techniques, AFT and NET, she is also highly skilled in understanding and releasing our blueprints from early childhood conditioning. This combination leads to high-powered strategies for enhancing our well being by advancing our consciousness.
Alice Vlietstra, Ph.D. |