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Successful Relating Fulfillment Through Connection and Community Alice G. Vlietstra, Ph.D. Editor July 2006
In this issue:
1. Welcome
In the last few e-newsletters we have been discovering ways to grow into our greatness by tapping into our values, character strengths and virtues. When we do so we move into our higher self. We experience more flow, more enthusiasm for life, joy, and well-being. When we translate these values into our standards of behavior for our relationships (our Code of Honor), they help us to rise to the occasion to meet the challenges of life. How well we handle these challenges, however, depends on our reaction to stress. This will be the topic of the next two e-newsletters. In our society, we typically see stress as outside ourselves. It results from factors such as the heat, the pollutants in the air, toxins, relationship upset, and the demands of life. Prolonged stress is seen as leading to disease, illness, and relationship breakdown, and thus needs to be avoided. In this e-newsletter, we are going to explore a different approach to stress. What if stress was not the result of life events, but rather our personal reaction to life events? What if stress is something you can control? How would you see stress if you could use it to learn and grow?
2. The Higher Self Stress Test
A. You go with the flow and creatively find ways to adapt to the situation. B. You get upset because things are not going your way. A. You stay calm, cool, and centered. B. You rant and rave, get mad, angry, and upset. A. You feel confident and look forward to handling change. B. You back off from change, fearing the unknown. A. You generally have good health and experience few effects of stress. B. Stress gives you physical pain, illness, headaches and stomach aches. A. You take life's adversities as a lesson to help and serve you. B. You feel that life is doing you in. A. You use your spiritual resources to create new solutions. B. You struggle in life, feeling you are a victim. A. You can stay in the present, fully accepting what is happening right now. B. You don't like what is happening, talk about the problem or daydream about a fantasy future. A. You look at the situation and say, "Oh well." B. You look at the situation and say, "Oh sh t." A. You are compassionate with others, and also firm when necessary. B. You like to think you are good, and when others give you trouble, you give them "the bird." A. You feel free to be authentic, the person you really are. B. You go along with your image and who you learned to be. If you resonated more positively to the "A" statements, you are likely to use stress constructively in a positive way. You are in your higher self and are more likely to create success and manifest what you want. If you find yourself resonating to the "B" responses, you are more likely to experience stress negatively. You are frequently in your "lower self" and struggle with the troubles of life. The challenge is to be able to use stress to expand your higher self and get past "the troublemakers." One of the masters in understanding this process is Dr. Kurt Ebert, an internationally known neuropsychologist and expert on stress.
3. A New Look at Stress
He states, "It is what we think about an event, not the event itself that matters. What bothers one person is easily dismissed as meaningless by another." Stress lies in the MEANING we give to events. "Meaning is our personal creation derived from our history, memories, beliefs, and values. Meaning frames the context of our thoughts and research by molecular biologists clearly indicates that our thoughts are directly related to our internal well-being. . . thoughts are things; intangible and scientifically un-measurable, but nevertheless impacts our physical being. . . Stress does not cause disease, but rather sets the context within which disease and dysfunction occur. Similar to the power of prayer and acupuncture, stressful thoughts can only be measured by their effect on the body or the results that accrue from their use or misuse. To paraphrase a well known sage, as you sow, so shall you reap." Even more fascinating is the research Dr. Ebert cites to show how our thoughts, conscious or unconscious, tune into what are called energy fields, or "attractor fields." Like gravity and magnetic fields, these fields are unseen, yet their energy shapes our physical and mental being. For optimum health and well being, we need to learn to tune into the high powered positive energy fields of love, peace, and joy, rather than to the negative ones that cause pain, relationship upset and stress. In order to do this, it is not enough just to focus and think positively. Furthermore, it is not sufficient to know your strengths and values, you also need to understand how to handle the “troublemakers.” Dr. Ebert believes it is critical to dismantle the negative thought patterns and eliminate the energy fields that underlie physical and mental stress. In order to do this, he developed what is called the Attractor Field Technique (AFT).
4. Revolutionary Breakthroughs, Evolutionary Solutions
At the same time, it is a psycho-spiritual approach. When AFT is used to release energetic blocks, it increases spiritual flow. We feel lighter, become happier, and experience more joy in our lives. AFT does this by bringing about belief change through forgiveness combined with the dismantling of the discordant energetic field. AFT is revolutionary in that it sees stress as our creation, and thus is under our control, rather than outside ourselves. It is evolutionary in that it helps us to experience our common humanity by overcoming the judgments that keep us separate. I find this most useful because AFT can be integrated with other approaches to increase their effectiveness and to help find a unique solution for each individual. Because it is holistic, integrative, and inclusive, it paves the path for evolutionary solutions. This is very exciting. We will explore this further in our next e-newsletter. Would you like to learn more about AFT? Dr. Ebert will be coming to St. Louis to present a short workshop on August 20th and then again for a longer two-day “Introduction To AFT “ on September 23 and 24. See the announcements below.
Warm Regards,
5. Announcements
We will also be having a two-day workshop on “A New Look At Stress: Introduction to the Attractor Field Technique" on September 23 and 24, 9-5 PM in St. Louis at the Gathering Place. Email me for a flyer or phone me at 314-729-2855 Copyright 2006 Alice Vlietstra. All rights reserved. You have my permission to forward this newsletter to those who might be interested. To subscribe: E-mail alice@successfulrelating.com, and put subscribe in the subject line. To unsubscribe: e-mail alice@successfulrelating.com, and put unsubscribe in the subject line. About Dr. Alice Alice Vlietstra, Ph.D., formerly of the University of Missouri St. Louis, was first trained as a researcher in Human Development. This training provides the integrative developmental focus of her work. Currently, she works as a family psychologist, coach, and family business consultant. As a graduate of the Authentic Happiness coaching program, she is trained in promoting the positive. As a certified practitioner of mind-body techniques, AFT and NET, she is also highly skilled in understanding and releasing our blueprints from early childhood conditioning. This combination leads to high-powered strategies for enhancing our well being by advancing our consciousness.
Alice Vlietstra, Ph.D. |